I am Sarai

This week I have been reflecting on Sarai's actions in Gensis 16.  She is unhappy with her bareness and attempts to change her situation through her own power.  Oh how I relate! When I am unhappy with a situation my first reaction is to do something to change the situation.  Its an overarching theme in my life.

You know what else is an overarching theme in my life?  That every time I try to change a situation in my own power it never works out for the long term.  It's like putting a band aid over a cut that needs stitches.  Sometimes it contains the bleeding for a while but eventually the blood seeps out and the band aid is no longer effective.  Yet I repeat this faulty response system over and over again.

Why?  It all boils down to the fact that deep down I do not trust God or his word.  I have this deep rooted fear that he will not show up.  A fear that I will be left alone.  So I attempt to protect myself with plans and busyness.  I am Sarai.  I attempted to solve my bareness through my own power.  The band-aid didn't last long and now I am facing the consequences.

This time; however, instead of running towards a new plan I am stopping.  I will learn to be still.  Learn to wait.  Learn to look for God in the moment.  And learn to trust that he will be there.

"For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.”  And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.  The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
Exodus 14:12b-14