Where do I go from here?
The question rolls in my head day in and day out.
Years ago when I first found faith I tried to describe to a friend what I was experiencing. I
told her how I had been in a mucky rushing river and all of sudden I was on
land. My life had been spent in the
river. I didn’t know how to live on
land. Each day was a learning
experience. Each day I became stronger. My feet steadied and I took a deep
breath.
Then 7 years ago I was shoved into the river. I was drowning. Desperate for a rescue. Rescue never
came. Where do I go from here? I thought if I could just make it back to
shore... If I could make it to sight. I desperately
started swimming, fighting every day.
Every time I got close a storm would brew. The lighting would strike. The wind would rage. And the current would drag me under. I screamed. I was silent. I swam. I floated. Years went by. I kept fighting until finally, I had no more fight. I was done. The rushing waters came and I was swept away
to sea. Where do I go from
here?
Turns out fighting for your soul wears out your body too. I’d been fighting for so long it ingrained
in my DNA. Even now my body fights. Going after the good cells. There’s no off switch. Will it be annoyance or will it be a pain? Only time will tell. No one knows tomorrow.
Body aching.
Soul empty.
Mind tired.
Where do I go from here?
I go to work. I go
home. I wait. I sleep. There is no solution. There is no answer. There is no cure. I can only live each day as it comes.
