15 September 2011
I have an odd personality in that doing something like asking a waiter for an extra spoon stresses me out to the max, but drop me off in an unfamiliar country and I am extremely laid back. I think it’s because in foreign countries I am not in my comfort zone…I am in Gods. In foreign situations I know things are outside my control…in comfortable situations I try to control everything. In foreign place I know I do not fit it…in familiar situations I try to fit in.
This desire to have a home, a place to belong. I’m a foreign potted plant…placed in one place for a time then moved on to the next. In some climates I survive, but barely. In others I thrive…too much…I become like an invasive species. The only constant is that I am continually moving.
People seem to be under the impression that I love this life…and there is a part of me that loves travelling from place to place and seeing people’s hearts, but I think people forget it’s not some Hollywood movie. It’s everyday life, just in a different setting. There’s laughter and tears. Rest and work. Peace and conflict. Adventure and monotony. Just like everyone else’s life.
You know the saying is the grass is always greener on the other side? In my case it is more like the life is always better outside the pot. There are many many many days that I am tempted and fall into the sin of wanting a different life. And I have to tell myself over and over again that I do not have a lesser gift, just a different one.
Often I feel like a person on the outside looking in, the puzzle piece that doesn’t quite fit because I’m from another puzzle. And then I read:
“For here we have no permanent city, but we are looking for the one which is to come.”
Hebrews 13:14 AMP
The one that is to come… I haven’t missed it…It hasn’t come yet…but what do I do in the mean time?
“Through Him, therefore, let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name.”
Hebrews 13:15
Praise him. Praise him because he is. Thank him for the person who took my seat when I got a drink of water. Confess jealousy of the people who do not have to lug all of their things every time they move. Praise him I can make this trip alone. Praise him I am free to focus on him and him alone.
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