Insomnia Chef

I like to be aware... of everything. Evidently that's not recommended. A while back I was told in no uncertain terms that my life needed an overhaul.  Pronto. My first assignment? To learn to be in the moment and not worried. Easy enough. Well... you see there was this bomb squad with helicopters chasing a man with a knife. And a few days later I'm passing through more chaos. Yeah a bomb...

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Abusive God

“God’s abusive.”  I confidently stated.  Using some of the most depraved people of the world I laid out my case.  Highlighting the similarities between their character and the effect they had on others.  I was done with giving the “right” answer.  “It’s like they’re exactly the same.” She looked at me thoughtfully.  “It sounds like one is counterfeit…”  ...

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Quitting Church

When I returned to the states I was so excited to join a church.  Hungry for authentic messy community.  Unfortunately things didn't quite turn out as I had hoped.  (Probably mostly due to my inherent dysfunction).  Tumultuous is the word I would choose to describe the journey.  After one weird trip followed by a season of multiple transitions I reached a point where I couldn't...

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Prayer: Reigning in the Rabbit

When I pray out loud or in my head it takes a grand total of .02 seconds before I am off down a rabbit trail (often called the trail of Pinterest) looking up ideas such as how to keep ants out of my basement apartment.  Anyhow, at one time I prayed out of obligation all the while telling myself I was not cut out to be a prayer warrior.  Let me tell you outright that is a lie.  I believe...

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Ragamuffin Reflections after Brussels

Tuesday morning I woke from a strange dream.  In an attempt to distract myself I opened my phone only to see news of the explosions in Brussels that morning.  For the rest of the day I wrestled with the fear and sadness that typically accompanies such news.  However, there was something about it that made it more unsettling to me then other recent events.  Finally, I realized...

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Jesus, Tantrums, and the Socratic Method

A few weeks ago I drove home from an event where one of the speakers used an example that triggered a painful reminder of my body’s brokenness.  I was furious.  Problem was I had no space left to cram my anger.  All that anger began bubbling over until I finally let loose an angry tirade viciously attacking God.  It was not pretty.  As soon as I finished an internal battle...

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The Cell Phone Generation

This was my first Christmas in the city.  My family came up to join me.  Saturday we decided to go see the Statue of Liberty.  We and the huddled masses boarded the ferry.  As we pulled out of the dock everyone jumped up turned around and started furiously snapping photos and videos.  My stomach sank and I immediately thought "oh no what's happening in the city?"  I turned...

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One Word 2016

At the beginning of 2015 I was beginning to come out of a 4 year "dark night of the soul."  My desire was to be more functional.  I choose healing as my word of 2015.  Little did I know how appropriate that word would be.  I started seeing a counselor (Ah-mazing! Everyone should go!) in February.  And we met and talked and life seemed the same.  Then in June the floodgates...

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